Short Funny Quotes
Looking for short funny quotes? This focused collection gathers 24 of the best funny quotes in a short spirit, drawn from our full funny collection. Tap Copy to save your favourites.
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes.
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.
Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.
Dear Santa, I can explain.
A father is a banker provided by nature.
A daughter is a treasure and a cause of sleeplessness.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.
Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably.
It's Friday! Time to go make stories for Monday.
Curiouser and curiouser!
A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Mom: a title just above queen.
It's always tea-time.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Mothers are the buttons that hold everything together.
Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.
The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.
Love is a serious mental disease.
Retired: good bye tension, hello pension!